• Kaveh Jalinous

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018): Film Review





To be honest, when I was typing the title of the film into the side of this page, I was debating whether to even include the words that are supposed to anchor this five-film series, Fantastic Beasts. Because honestly, I believe that we have reached a point where there is no need to even have that in the title, because it has absolutely nothing to do with what's happening in the actual movie. It seems that writer J. K. Rowling has fallen victim to the idea of greed from these plot-less, unbelievably stupid films that only exist to rake up box office cash and propel the studio needs forward. Because, even as a huge fan of Harry Potter (I have read the series twice from start to finish, and watched the films countless times), I don't even know how to react to this apparent mess of the film. It is a complete mess, that doesn't even know how to take itself seriously; relying on over-used CGI and multiple complicated storylines to attempt to bring justice to a story so watered down it can't even breathe. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them literally, because I honestly was not able to find any "Fantastic beasts" in this movie, as all the events of the first film were simply tossed in the garbage, which was a trash move by Rowling and her associates. The film is a hot mess, and a real step down for the Wizarding World in general. ​ The film is so extremely bloated that there is honestly no need to even attempt to explain the plot of this film, as there are so many little story lines and plots that intersect with each other in such awful fashion, that it is all one big blur from start to finish. Quite literally too, because I found myself nearly falling asleep at multiple points at the movie. Don't see this at a late night showing, you heard it here first. Now, at this point in reading this review, you may be wondering why I hated the film so much, and I just want to clarify. I didn't absolutely hate it, but it definitely was pretty bad. The thing is, I have seen so many bad movies this year that this one stands over a good amount of films, but it is still pretty awful. Anyways, here's what led me to make that decision. ​ You can't create this new world throughout a whole first film, and then suddenly throw us out of this world, putting us into a new plot-line that has nothing to do with any fantastic beasts at all, or even the main character who the series is meant to follow. Everything in the first movie feels like it was thrown away, or thrown off to the side; which sucks because it makes viewers think of the simple question; if all of this is happening, why did we even waste time watching the first film at all? Character motivations seem shaky, and begin to make no sense when you think about it, even becoming controversial at certain points in the script. The whole Grindelwald character feels like a cash-grab in itself, and an absolute mess - especially in the brief portrayal of Grindelwald and Dumbledore's relationship. But, nothing in the film is more laughable then the finale, which is so atrocious and horrible that it truly proves that this series is on a horrendous path if it continues this story-line. The CGI is abysmal, to the point where it has reached super-hero level status of bad, which is extremely questionable given the 200 million dollar budget that has backed the film. As I have seen many times before, and completely agree with, the film's most significant problem is that: it only exists to fill space in Rowling's five-film plan. It sucks to watch alone without the rest of the series, unlike any of the films in the central Harry Potter series. So, that's what I recommend. Just rewatch a Harry Potter film or something. Trust me, it's a much better use of your time then wasting it in this mess of a film.

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